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Friday, 30 December 2011

  • Ironic Dick Insult

    My Dad has a playful side. It's a little annoying in the way he expresses it. For example, when I was 8 or so, he splashed my face with a little bit of water from a spray, over and over again, and being a little kid I have no defense from him. I hide, he finds me, he splashes me. To make it even, he hid and waited for me to find him. I got a hugeass container of water and splashed him. That shit had WAVES when it hit the floor. Oh yeah, we were even

    This happened a lot. He would do something playful but annoying, and I'd top what he did so hard he'd get mad. Eventually, this climaxed into it's highest and most extreme form.

    My Dad and me were pissing next to each other into the house toilet. I was at the age when this was still common and acceptable. For some random reason he spit in the general direction of my dick. I had to dodge it. He laughed, I got pissed. I spit too.

    It hit his dick.

    If you view things from an omniscient accelerated time point of view, with great angles, and microscopic vision, you can follow my growth as a spermatozoa out of my Dad's dick, into my Mom's uterus out of there growing into a kid, and then spitting on the exact place where I grew out of. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    I think even as a kid, this vulgar irony dawned on me, if only for a brief moment. Now you guys top that. That's breaking a commandment so hard I was probably doomed to burn in hell right then and there. How many of you guys can say you've done anything as fucked up as spit on your Dad's dick?

    Obviously, he was pissed when I did that, and I was sincerely apologetic. It was an accident, and even I had my limits.


Thursday, 29 December 2011

  • Gay People: Saviors of the Human Race

       Gay people are the saviors or the human race.


    There's a reason there's always someone dressed as him at gay parades.

    Or at least, they can be.

    How? Simple. Much of our problems such as world hunger, unemployment, etc. can be traced back to the fact that THERE'S TOO MANY OF US. Overpopulation. TOO MUCH PEOPLE HAVIN TOO MUCH SEX.

    Uh, yeah. See? She agrees with me. It's the cause of all our problems.

    There just isn't enough resources for all 6.984 billion of us.

    More gay people, less new kids being produced. Quite a few gay couples adopt kids that need parents. If maybe 50% of the world population was gay, human population would eventually settle down to a number where we don't destroy the planet with our carbon emissions and other ways we fuck with the environment, there's more resources to go around,  the employment process is less soul-damagingly competitive. So we should be EXTREMELY POSITIVE AND SUPPORTIVE if someone is gay. It might solve world hunger.

    You want these little African kids to be able to eat, right? RIGHT?! Homophobic people, these starving kids are YOUR FAULT. Okay not really, but really, stop with hatin' our saviors.

    This is more a random interesting concept than anything else. I'm not entirely sure if the effects would actually be so dramatic, but I can't see any logical flaws in it at the moment.
  • Fuck She's in my dreams

    This happened a while ago, but the memory is still very fresh.

    I was dreaming. I was trying to make some sort of weird, intricate printer work, with a big rectangular red button. I was doing some printing for a teacher, it seems. I have no idea how to make it work, so I go back to the classroom. My memory seems to say the classroom was at one of my old schools back in Jeddah, Thamer International School, but I'm not sure if that's actually what the classroom looked like or if my conscious self right now is making up details and filling in. Somehow, maybe because I'm moving really fast, I bump my forehead on the area right below the neck of the teacher. Or at least, someone who's wearing the same clothes as my teacher, because I haven't looked up at their face yet. Quickly, I start saying "I have no idea how to make that printer work and-", I look up, and it's not the teacher, it's Emily, this girl in two of my classes, who I guess I would say I'm attracted to. She's wearing the exact same clothes as my teacher. I stop talking, and quickly move to the other side of the classroom to talk to the REAL teacher.

    Now what's striking about this is, I've overheard Emily saying before she wants to be a teacher. I only realized this when I woke up. It's just.....really interesting that dream imagery would be so linked to non-visual, stored information. Unless it was a complete random neurons firing coincidence, which I doubt, I'm very sure that clothes thing was linked to me knowing she wants to be a teacher.

Tuesday, 27 December 2011

  • Currently
    The Rum Diary: A Novel
    By Hunter S. Thompson
    see related

    I want more of this

     I'm chilling in LA, staying with family. Flew over here from Vancouver so I could spend some time with my Mom, since she lives in Saudi Arabia, we don't see each other too often. So these days we see each other twice a year or so. Due to flight availability and other stuff, I got here a week before she did. Mostly spent it chilling, going on the internet, practicing the guitar intro to "Where is My Mind" by the Pixies so much I play bits of other songs I can barely remember just to relieve the tedium, reading. Bought like 5 books. One of which is Inheritance by Christopher Paolini, the last book in the Inheritance cycle, which should probably be named the Eragon cycle instead. Didn't even know it got released yet, it got out a month ago. It's been a long time since I've read from this writer, about these people. Even if they're imaginary, they're people, aren't they?  I expect Eragon kills Galbatorix and defeats the Empire at the end, but you never know, Paolini might go for some crazy shit, even Eragon dying in victory would be unexpected and strong.

    The other books are The Rum Diary by Hunter S. Thompson(apparently has been adapted into a movie starring Johnny Depp, it's a little funny how Johnny Depp is like the Hollywood avatar of Hunter S. Thompson, and saddening Hollywood is still sucking blood from other mediums for sustenance), some book about the common fuck-ups the medical system makes (sounds useful to know), and The Last Zombie volume 1. I haven't read the Walking Dead, so I have no shining exemplar of zombie fiction, but I have to say The Last Zombie is really good.

    Tried some PUA shit recently. I got the crazy idea that since my Mom isn't here yet, nobody here other than family knows me, I could do some insane outrageous PUA stunts that would probably fail hilariously and it wouldn't matter. Like a video game. Nothing is real, I can do whatever I want as long as I don't break the law. Of course, being the safe no-risks person mired in my comfort zone, I haven't really done any outrageous shit, and with only a day left, I doubt I can. I have done some out of comfort zone stuff though, like trying to approach random girls at the mall, smiling, and saying "Hi!". I kept on forgetting to smile, though, was probably too tense to do it. I probably creeped out quite a few of them, and left quickly each time. I think I accidentally approached a girl below the age of 13, I'm not sure, it was hard to tell her age, I thought she was my age at first. Luckily I realized this quickly and left. Maybe I'm overestimating how much I creeped out all of them, just because I was dressed better than usual and had this slightly flashy black faux-leather jacket with shiny silver buttons and zippers and shit :P. Hey, I would've creeped out more if I was wearing hobo-level clothes (which I never do anyway). I need to be less tense and awkward about this, and be more confident, relaxed, and fun.

    I intended to do more approaches today, but I somehow forgot to, just went to Barnes and Nobles, read some books, bought the ones I mentioned. Okay not entirely true, I saw this group of girls in front of the Barnes and Nobles, but I wussed out because they were attractive. I wish I could purposely turn on that vaguely bastard-y arrogance I get when I'm alone sometimes. I should've approached  today, my clothes were good and a little flashy so I got some glances from girls and women, I think. I'll get the opportunity again tomorrow. What's cool about this mall, the Americana, is it has an Apple store, so I can look up openers or whatever PUA literature I need then begin immediately. Fucking brilliant setup, no excuse for inaction, I may look for malls like that in future.

    I have a vague comic idea stuck in my head involving vampires. I know they're overexposed, but this is the form the story took in my head, so it doesn't matter as long as I'm doing the idea because I like it and not because vampires are big now.

    I want to blog more regularly now, again, but more as just recording of my life on a regular basis. I kinda delegated that to my Facebook, but there's only so much you can put in little bursts of text, and there are some things I don't want people on my friend list to see.I read through some of my paper journal recently, and there's some cool stuff in there, emotional times, hell, even this blog has events I forgot about. It sucks I didn't record the New York trip on here, it was such a great time for me, and the memories are so hazy now. Ah well, at least I had the experience and enjoy it in the moment. Another reason for recording my life on here is that, when I was reading my journal, I saw what kind of person I was then, how I interpeted things, and I can tell I'm better now. It's like that exercise at the beginning of Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, where you make a few drawings to record how crappy you are. Then after you finish the exercises in the book you can look back and be amazed at how pro you are NOW, compared to how shit you were THEN. Same thing with my journal, though also, if I get worse, I can tell from reading past entires too.


Sunday, 13 November 2011

  • What but why would she be hot

    Some girl's hotness mystifies me. Obviously, I mean their attractiveness to me personally. There are pretty girls who I can clearly see why I'm attracted to. Good facial structure and symmetry, white smile, well done hair that matches her, smooth skin tone, tight body shape, boobs etc..Boobs are not very important to me. as long as I can tell they're THERE, I'm good. But some girls.....like, these are girls who, if you can their features on their own, individually, there's nothing special. But see the whole person and.....those average parts somehow results in someone attractive. What I'm trying to say is usually you wouldn't expect them to be attractive, because nothing about them is above average, but somehow they're hot. I wasn't sure why. I'm naming this type Unexpecteds.  Am I making any sense? Do you know what I mean? Perhaps my words aren't getting across what I mean because you'd have to see what they look like yourself.

    Recently, though, I think the mystery cleared. It was one of those Eureka moments, of pure clarity and understanding. I was walking down a hallway, past the sports trophy glass case. One of the pictures caught my eye for a moment.

    Every single Unexpected type girl I'd seen was on a sports team.

    Holy shit. Somehow, my lizard brain had unconsciously noticed that they were really really fit, regardless of their genetically endowed gifts. I wasn't thinking consciously "Oh wow she looks buff."  Not really possible, at my age no-one can really get  noticeably buff that you can tell with their clothes on. It was unconscious, under the surface, beyond my awareness.

    That the human brain is that efficient. That just amazes me.

Mallinz

  • Visit Mallinz's Xanga Site
    • Name: Ben
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 8/15/2008

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